Fangirls Anonymous
by Houka-sama
Summary: [Chapter 5: The Fangirls Cometh..] Deep in a fit of writer's block, The Author was hit with a rather...odd idea. Several one sided romances. X3
1. Chapter One The Idea

Fangirls Anonymous Chapter One- The Idea  
  
I dun't own any of the anime mentioned, nor do I own any of the bishies. (damn. e.e) So please don't sue me...I wanna keep my $5-a-year allowance, thank you.   
  
I'm writing this because, A: I want to, B: I can, and C: I need ta take a break from writing chapter 3 of FotD. Oh, anyways, enjoy, and be sure to check out the bottom notes when you're done. This chapter is kinda..fast paced.  
*********  
  
Our story begins in a leetle town called Santee. Okay, so our story actually begins in The Author's house, but you don't care, now do you? Well, there was a lot of typing going on in the said house.  
  
"Y'know, I've always wondered why they call this place Middle Earth. I mean, is there a Left Earth and Right Earth too?"  
  
A blink. Then a sigh. Then the clicking of a backspace button. And the sound of someone's head banging on a keyboard. Apparently, The Author was having a rather nasty case of writer's block. Then, for no reason at all, Jaws music started playing. Which prolly meant something was sneaking up on someone.   
  
WHAP!  
  
"Ow!" The Author yelped, rubbing her head. Then, "Hey..was that just an idea that whapped me across the head?!"  
  
We're not even going to bother wondering how an idea can whap someone across the head, but that isn't the point.  
  
"Hey...I have an idea!"  
  
Well, duh.  
  
The Author then let out an incredibly cheesy cackle. "Muwahaha."  
  
And then, just to add to the cheesy horror film feel of this moment, a bolt of lightning crashed across the sky, lighting up the room, and giving us an equally cheesy view of The Author, who was now all anime-style-ish. Thus begins the real story.  
  
******  
  
"So you've created a what?" Christina asked, yawning. She'd just been woken up and taken to some..place. And, right now, she wasn't exactly in the mood to listen to anyone.  
  
"A world where fangirls can stalk their favourite bishounen. And you two are going to help me run it."  
  
"Oh. Cool."  
  
"Erm, Stereotypical-mysterious-anime-character-lady?"  
  
"..Kyle, that's Claire." Christina mumbled.  
  
"Oh." Kyle squinted. "Claire?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"WHY AM I HERE?! I'M A GUY! A GUY! I DON'T FIT IN THE FANGIRL CATEGORY!"  
  
"Oh..yeah. Sorry 'bout that. I had a lack of semi-responsible female friends, so I chose you instead."  
  
"Great. Just...great. I get to be surrounded by squealing fangirls."  
  
"Ah..no. I knew you wouldn't be able to handle that, so you're gunna help with the bishounen."  
  
Kyle sweatdropped. Oh, joy.  
  
"Oh, Christina. Your alias is Fangirl Cioshi. Kyle, yours is..um, Kyle."  
  
"Hey, why no cool nickname for me?"   
  
The Author shrugged. "Can't think of one, and, no, you can't be called Glen."  
  
"Pfft.."  
  
"Sorry, but Glen sounds...stupid."  
  
"HEY!" Christina..err, Cioshi glared at The Author. "Glen's my character!"  
  
"I know! Geez..anyway, the current bishounen on my list are being..um.."transported"..here now. They should be in by tomorrow. So, you guys better wake up early. G'night!" With that, The Author opened a door that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere and went in. Kyle and Cioshi glanced at each other.  
  
"Where are we supposed to sl-" Before Cioshi could finish her sentence, two doors appeared out of nowhere, like the other one. One said CIOSHI, the other said KYLE. How, um, ironic. They sweatdropped, then went inside their respective rooms.  
  
********  
  
In the small courtyard in front of Fangirls A, there was quite a croud. The crowd, of course,was made up of the "shipment" of bishounen. Many of them were complaining, wondering where they were. And that made it very loud. After a couple of minutes, The Author popped onto the small stage in front of the entrance.  
  
"May I have your attention?" Few listened.  
  
"Hello?!.." The Author twitched.  
  
"IF YA DON'T SHADDUP AND LISTEN RIGHT NOW, YOU'LL BE SUBJECTED TO 80 HOURS OF TELETUBBIES!" The entire courtyard quieted down abruptly.  
  
"Ahem. Thank you." The Author said, and snapped, a clipboard appearing in her hands. " Welcome to Fangirls Anonymous. You're probably wondering why you're here."  
  
"YES!" Came the collective reply.  
  
The Author sweatdropped. "Well, you're here so we can provide an..er..."learning environment" for fangirls. If you don't agree, I'll follow through with what I said before. Okay, let's get started.."  
Cioshi popped up and took the clipboard from The Author, sighing. "Alright...if I call your name, follow her. Umm...Joey Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Yami Yugi, Ryou Rakura, and...uh oh. Ohh noo..."  
  
"Say, Cioshi, SAY IT!" The Author grinned madly, dancing from foot to foot. She sounded almost psychotic.  
  
"Malik Ishtar."  
  
"YES!" The Author hollered, jumping in joy. Cioshi sweatdropped.  
  
"Malik...dude...be afraid."  
  
************  
  
Well, luckily for Malik, The Author is easily pleased. She was content knowing that she was standing a mere foot or two away from him. Sure, her squeals were slightly annoying, but hey, it was either that or a severe glomping. Eurgh..  
  
After the small group had filed into a line, they were lead to a building inside FA. There sat Kyle, fiddling with a sheet of stick-on nametags. He looked up as they came in, and he twitched.  
  
Joey blinked. "Why's he here? He don't look like a fangirl..oh, he "swings that way", huh?"  
  
"GACK!" Kyle fell off the metal chair he sat in, twitching yet again. The Author sweatdropped as Kyle climbed back onto the chair, glaring at Joey.  
  
"No...I just brought him here cause there wasn't anyone else to bring. Hehe.."  
  
"What're your names?" Kyle asked, flatly.  
  
"Joey..."  
  
Kyle sat there, waiting.  
  
"Joey.." He repeated, blinking.  
  
Kyle nodded expectantly.  
  
"...Joey..."  
  
"LAST NAME TOO, RETARD!" Kyle twitched...again.  
  
"Wheeler." Joey glared at Kyle, who simply glared back.   
  
"This won't end too well..." Malik commented, then cringed as The Author squealed.  
  
None the less, Kyle wrote Joey's name on a nametag, then peeled it off and slapped it on Joey's shirt as hard as he could.  
  
"Why, you-" Joey started, but then The Author, sweatdropping, pushed him over to a door.   
  
"Your room's in there somewhere...just find the door that has your name."  
  
Joey went in, mumbling something about stupid little kids.  
  
"Name?" Kyle asked Malik, sounding slightly less...disturbed?  
  
Malik glanced over at The Author nervously. "Erm...Malik Ishtar.."  
  
"Eee!" Malik grimaced.  
  
"Don't worry," Kyle reassured him, whilst writing on the nametag. "She'll stop doing that by tomorrow. Hopefully." He peeled the nametag off, then held it up to Malik, who blinked a few times, then took it and stuck it onto his shirt with a sigh. Then, glancing at The Author, who was taking a step towards him, he dashed up to his room before she could push him through the door.  
  
"Aww, man.." She sighed, pouting. Bakura blinked.  
  
"Um..just a suggestion, but maybe he wouldn't do that if you stopped squealing every time he talks?" He said, slowly. The Author turned, glaring at him.  
  
"Bakura...err, Ryou..no..wait..Bakura..GAH!"  
  
"Yes?" Bakura asked, sweatdropping slightly.  
  
The Author pursed her lips. "Shaddup."  
  
*****  
And, yet again, we hear the clicking of keys. It was fairly early in the morning, about 5:30 AM. There, at a large desk, sat The Author, typing away. She paused, stretching, just as Cioshi walked into the room, rubbing her eyes. She yawned.  
  
"What time's it?"  
  
"About.." The Author yawned, glancing at her watch. "Five thirty-five." She returned to typing.  
  
"Sheesh..what're you doing up so early?"  
  
"Putting the finishing touches on something that you and I shall enjoy so very much."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The bishounen shall be awoken, in a couple of minutes, to dance remixes of their theme songs that are playing VERY loudly." The Author said, spinning in her chair. "In addition, our dear friend Kyle shall be subjected to the horror of horrors as an alarm clock.."  
  
"What's the horror of horrors?"  
  
"Why, Britney Spears, of course." She continued to spin in her chair, counting down from ten. When she reached one, she stopped spinning and pushed the enter key. Loud music erupted throughout the building, as well as screams.  
  
"Ah, I love the sound of angry, screaming bishounen in the morning." The Author commented, grinning evilly. But her joy would soon come to an end. The fangirls were coming in less than a week, and everyone had some preparing to do..  
  
*******  
Wanna be in Fangirls Anonymous? YAY! Erm, I mean, just send an email to fangirls_anonymous@yahoo.com . You MUST include the following information in the email:  
  
Name (this should be a nickname):  
Age:  
Fav. Anime:  
Fav. Bishounen (you can put more than one):  
Personality (describe as best as you can):  
Hair Colour:  
Eye Colour:  
Anything else?:  
  
Yup. That's all. Oh, and, DO NOT SUBMIT THIS INFO IN A REVIEW! EMAIL!! If you filled out the form correctly, you'll get an email back saying that you're accepted. Woo.  
  
-Houka-sama 


	2. Chapter 2 The Author Stick?

Fangirls Anonymous Chapter 2-Oh no...not the Author Stick!  
  
Cioshi: *glances up at the title* the Author sti..NOO! Not that!  
The Author: *running around and hopping at the same time* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!  
Kyle: She's...scaring me. What's wrong with her? o_o  
Cioshi: I have no idea. Mebbe we'll find out?  
Kyle: *watching The Author run around* I hope not. o_0  
  
**************************  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAaaaaaa....a...aa..AHAHAHAHAHAA!"  
  
Sure, the entire population of Fangirls A has awoken to some pretty weird things. Okay, pretty weird theme songs. But today they woke up to something completely different...The Author laughing her head off. And hyperly, none the less. A few bishounen mustered up the courage to go down and see what was happening. And they were shocked at what they saw...  
  
"What in the name of..." The Author was running in circles very, very quickly. And, yep, she was still laughing. Cioshi and Kyle stood off to the side, staring at her as she ran, their eyes twitching.  
  
"What happened?" One of the bishounen asked, confused. Kyle pointed wordlessly at a desk. There, sitting on it, attempting to look innocent, was an empty Vanilla Frappuccino bottle. The bishounen blinked.  
  
"She's never had coffee before," Cioshi explained, glaring daggers at the empty bottle. The group of semi-brave pretty boys gasped. Right as they did so, The Author skidded to a halt.  
  
"Dodagoo youdagou wadagant todagoo seedagee whatagat Idagi madedagade?!" The Author shouted, grinning goofily.  
  
"Erm, repeat that? In English?" The Author blinked, then nodded, dancing from foot to foot.  
  
"Do you wanna see what I made?!" She asked excitedly. Against her better judgement, Cioshi nodded slowly.  
  
"YAY!" The Author ran over to the desk, and pulled something out of a drawer, then ran back to them. She held it up proudly. It was...a stick. With buttons all over it. Yay?  
  
"Erm..uh, cool?" Kyle said uncertaintly.  
  
"What's it do?" One of the bishounen asked, carefully. The Author giggled.  
  
"This!" She pressed a button then pointed the stick at the bishounen who questioned her. Almost instantly, there was a bright flash of light. When it faded, there was a very embarrassing scene indeed.  
  
He had been stripped down to his underwear.  
  
"Oh...my.." Cioshi tried not to drool. She just might end up liking this after all.  
  
****************  
  
In around twenty minutes, 99.9% of the males in Fangirls A were..erm..robbed of their outerwear. The .1% was Kyle, because, frankly, no one wants to see a real twelve year old boy in his underwear. Euw.  
  
Anyway, The Author was still running around in circles. The offending Frappuccino bottle had been stabbed savagely by several angry, scared, and half naked bishounen. Yes, they stabbed it savagely until they sweat profusely, which caused their bodies to be nice n' shiny, thustly creating glistening muscles...Ahem. Sorry. I'm allowed to have fangirlish moments too, yanno.  
  
"When is she gonna stop?!" One of the bishounen asked, cringing at The Author's laughing. Cioshi looked thoughtful for a moment.  
  
"Right about..." She glanced at her watch, then sighed with relief. "Now."  
  
The Author stopped abruptly, then fell over onto a conveniently placed sleeping bag. She was asleep immediately, snoring, with her thumb in her mouth. Cioshi, Kyle, and the bishounen sweatdropped. Then...  
  
"Thank GOD!" Kyle screeched (o_O;), then lunged for the Author Stick. He ran his finger down all the buttons, mumbling "no, no, no.." until he reached a certain button that said "REVERSE". Crossing his fingers, he pointed the stick at the bishounen and pressed the button, praying "REVERSE" didn't mean they would all transform into what they looked like ten years ago or something. But, alack, I'm not prepared to write about that sort of thing, so the reverse button gave all of the bishouen their clothing. Some of it didn't seem to be put on correctly, but, hell, they had their clothes back.  
  
***************  
  
"Claire...Claire..." Poke. Poke. Poke. That, apparently, was how Kyle woke people up.  
  
"Go away," The Author mumbled, and rolled over onto her stomach.  
  
"C'mon, wake up." Poke.  
  
"Go. Away." Came her voice, muffled by the pillow. Kyle sighed.  
  
"I didn't want to have to do this, but.." He took hold of one of her braids, grinning maniacally.  
  
"PINCH!" He shouted, while...pinching her hair? She rolled over again, glaring at him with blurry, sleepy eyes.  
  
"Kyle.." She said, calmly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"GO AWAY!" She said, whapping him with the pillow several times.  
  
"GACK!" He fell to the ground, twitching. "I give up.." He mumbled, walking away.  
  
The Author snickered, then stretched. Kyle was too easy to annoy. She hopped up, then trotted after him, sighing. Yup, the fangirls were coming SOON...and she hadn't even prepared the bishounen for this, much less told them about it.  
  
******************  
  
That was an extremely short chapter...gomen. v.v; I wouldn'tve posted it this short normally, but I NEED MORE FANGIRLS TO APPLY! (I thank the two fangirls that did apply. You two ARE accepted, by the way. i'm just too lazy to send out an email. ^_^;) Here's the form, again:  
  
Wanna be in Fangirls Anonymous? YAY! Erm, I mean, just send an email to fangirls_anonymous@yahoo.com . You MUST include the following information in the email:  
  
Name (this should be a nickname):  
Age:  
Fav. Anime:  
Fav. Bishounen (you can put more than one):  
Personality (describe as best as you can):  
Hair Colour:  
Eye Colour:  
Anything else? (for example, how you talk, tendencies, etc.):  
  
Yup. That's all. Oh, and, DO NOT SUBMIT THIS INFO IN A REVIEW! EMAIL!! If you filled out the form correctly, you'll get an email back saying that you're accepted. Woo.  
  
-Houka-sama 


	3. Chapter 3 Ph34r m3?

Fangirls Anonymous, Chapter Three-Ph34r m3?  
  
The Author: Yes, people, the title is "Ph34r m3?". Originally, it was "Ph34r my l337 f4ngirl 5killz". Heh. O_o  
Cioshi: You know, if ya keep it up, this story might actually succeed...unlike FotD. X3  
The Author: -_-; Oh. We capitolize a lot on Kyle's "questionable sexuality" in this chapter. OH! and we have a mini-scene here for ja. Um...enjoy? (mini-scene begins and ends with %s.)  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
*The Author, Cioshi, and Kyle are sitting...somewhere. The Author is browsing around fanfiction.net, Cioshi is rolling a pair of The Author's D&D d20 dice boredly, and Kyle is playing Tetris on The Author's gameboy colour...which happens to be pink.*  
  
The Author: Hmm..let's check reviews, shall we?  
Cioshi: YAY! I got seven. *rolls* YAY! I got thirteen...  
Kyle: No..no...no...no...noo....NO! DAMMIT! *looks like he's on the verge of attempting to rip the (pink) gameboy colour apart*  
The Author: Sheesh, be careful with that, would ya? OOH! Review! *reads*  
Cioshi: We have reviews? O_O;;  
Kyle: Gasp.  
The Author: Uhh...dude...Cio...Kyle...someone actually suggested that we create a Fanboys Anonymous.  
Cioshi: What, for gay fanboys?  
The Author: No, and that was kinda mean. o.O It's a good idea, really...but who would write it? I certaintly can't write one, seeing as how I don't have the mind of a boy n' all that..Cioshi would probably turn it into a gothic-angst-romance somehow, and there's still the whole not a guy problem...  
Kyle: I'll do it!  
Cioshi: Yeah...who should we get to write it?  
Kyle: I will!  
Cioshi: Shaddup, will ya? *throws the d20 dice at Kyle's head* We're trynna figure out who'll write this!  
Kyle: *KLUNK!* OW! I said I will!  
The Author: Cio...you know imma have to disinfect those, right?  
Cioshi: Yup.  
The Author: *looks at the small population of male readers, pleadingly* Any of you wanna try and write a Fanboys A? Email me if ya do...  
Kyle: I WANNA!  
The Author: It's either that, or we'll have to have Kyle write it-  
Kyle: YES! OH HOLY GOD YES!  
Cioshi:-but he probably has the writing talents of a flying, purple and pink south american dung beetle elephant.  
Kyle: GAH! x.X   
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
***********************  
The Actual Story ^_^;;  
  
***********************  
  
"'Welcome to Fangirls Anonymous, home of a 13 year old boy with'..." Kyle peered up at the giant announcement board, reading the message, then went silent. Cioshi and The Author were in a laughing fit. Apparently, a trouble-making bishounen left his room in the middle of the night and found the letters for the board.  
  
"Who..whoever did this..I..I love you!" Cioshi cried in between spasms of laughter. She looked up at the announcement board again, which only served to make her laugh harder. The entire message read, "Welcome to Fangirls Anonymous, home of a 13 year old boy with a questionable sexuality!".  
  
Kyle was twitching as usual. He glanced up at the board again, shivered, then looked at the two girls whom were literally rolling on the floor laughing. "Can we go in?"  
  
The Author nodded, still laughing. She stood slowly, wiping her eyes, then began to laugh again as she walked into the main building. Cioshi..um...rolled to the door, snickering all the way. When inside, The Author plopped in her chair and turned on the intercom.  
  
"The person who put the message on the announcement board...THANK YOU!" She burst out laughing again. Kyle glared at her, then grabbed the speaker.  
  
"Whoever did that, come down here right now so I can KEEL you!" He said, then stomped over to the door and waited. After a few minutes someone knocked on the door. Huffing in frustration, Kyle opened the door..and had to look up a couple of feet. There, standing in the doorway, towering nearly two feet over him, was Youko Kurama.  
  
"Is there a problem?" Youko asked, smirking slightly.  
  
"N...n...no." Kyle said, shutting the door and turning around stiffly. He sat down in a chair. It was easy to see that he was visibly shaken...what with his unendible twitching and all. The Author and Cioshi were currently banging their fists on the table, laughing as loud as humanly possible, so we'll just leave 'em alone for the time being...  
  
************************  
  
Ah, there we go. No more laughing. Well, The Author and Cioshi had calmed down quite a bit. They still let out a snicker or two now and then when they saw Kyle, however. Anyway, The Author had come up with "the best plan in the WORLD". In other words, she was going to force Kyle to teach a "How to Avoid Rabid Fangirls" class, just to give those bishounen a false sense of security. Although no one would know how Kyle would be an expert in that category. Yes, Kyle was still twitching, looking akin to what a crapbrown-haired, short-circuiting keyboard would look like if it were human.  
  
Cioshi blinked. "You know...all that twitching CAN'T be good for his health."  
  
"Well.." The Author pondered for a moment. "Wait. That's a good thing."  
  
"Oh..lemme show you guys my chart..." Kyle said, still twitching as he picked up a piece of posterboard and held it out the cioshi and The Author. They looked at it curiously...then Cioshi fell down, laughing. While The Author just stood there, looking from the posterboard to Kyle, Kyle to the posterboard and so on. The chart, apparently, was of a badly drawn girl wearing a short skirt, a tight top, and pigtails. On the top of the board, "Ph34r my l33t f4n9irl 5killz" was written. Then the chart went on to label different parts of the fangirl. It was kinda creepy, actually.  
  
"Kyle...uh...fangirls dun look like that. Well, not all of them, at least.."  
  
Kyle, miraculously, stopped twitching at that moment to blink. "Yeah they do. Show me one fangirl who doesn't look like-"  
  
The Author and Cioshi glared at him, their hands on their hips.  
  
"Oh." He seemed to shrink under the glare of the two girls. "Hehehee?"  
  
"I'll give you something to hehehee about.." The Author grumbled as she walked away, leaving Cioshi to savagely attack Kyle with a soda can.[1] (o.O)  
  
************************  
  
"Cioshi..." The Author blinked down at Kyle, who was presently unconcious. He also looked like he was stuck to the floor...probably because Cioshi had sprayed the soda on him after she attacked him with it. "I dun think that was the best idea.."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Now I have to clean the floor."  
  
"Sucks to be you."  
  
"Eh, maybe I can con a bishounen into cleaning it for me. Like, maybe Ryou. Or, ee! Malik! Or Kenshin! Or.."  
  
While The Author was listing off the poor bishounen she could subject to cleaning the floor, Cioshi just walked away.  
  
"Oooh, there's an idea! Whaddya think, Cio?" The Author blinked, looking around. "Cio?"  
  
She sighed. "Oh well...now I have to go n' cancel the HtARF class. Hehe, HtARF! HtARF HtARf HtARF!" And so she proceeded to run around yelling "HtARF" at the top of her lungs.  
  
************************  
  
Halfway through this particularly boring day at the Fangirls Anonymous HQ (well, of course it's the headquarters), The Author was sitting at the infamous Desk typing on the infamous Laptop. And, apparently, she was writing an equally boring Yu Gi Oh mary sue. I don't quite know why, but she was.  
  
This, of course, resulted in a string of disgruntled bishounen from said anime peering over her shoulder, making various comments, and, often, reaching over her to hit the backspace button. Which, in turn, resulted in a disgruntled Author, who, at the present time, was smacking Joey's hand away from the keyboard.  
  
Cioshi, however, was currently spending her time doing a pre-stalk before the other fangirls arrived.  
  
And Kyle was still unconcious in a pool of grape soda.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, the three of them (er, two, rather) heard a faint noise in the distance. It was a loud rumbling noise, as if thousands of people were running in the same direction...  
  
"ACK! I forgot! The fangirls are arriving today!"  
  
********  
  
Okey dokey. I've gotten a whopping TWO fangirl applications. Thus, chapter four won't be up until I get a few more. Thank you. O-O  
  
Wanna be in Fangirls Anonymous? YAY! Erm, I mean, just send an email to fangirls_anonymous@yahoo.com . You MUST include the following information in the email:  
  
Name (this should be a nickname):  
Age:  
Fav. Anime:  
Fav. Bishounen (you can put more than one):  
Personality (describe as best as you can):  
Hair Colour:  
Eye Colour:  
Anything else? (for example, how you talk, tendencies, etc.):  
  
Yup. That's all. Oh, and, DO NOT SUBMIT THIS INFO IN A REVIEW! EMAIL!! If you filled out the form correctly, you'll get an email back saying that you're accepted. Woo.  
  
-Houka-sama 


	4. Chapter 4: Dead Me Day Interview with Ci...

Fangirls Anonymous - Dead Me Day  
  
The Author: 'Ey..since I'm taking sooooo long to write the fourth chapter, this "psuedo-chapter" is roughly equivalent to the Dead Piro Days on Megatokyo.  
  
Cioshi: Except the Dead Piro Days look better. o_O;  
  
The Author: Er. Yeah. Sorry to the seven or so fangirls that are patiently waiting to be in the next chapter..this one's just us and the bishounen talking about randomcrap. Yes, randomcrap. one word. Not two. Actually, on second thought, I think I'll interview Cio in this chapter..  
  
Cioshi: Oh god!  
  
The Author: Muahaha.  
  
*******Begin IRC chat. Yes, this is actually an interview with Cio on IRC o.O; Typos are uncorrected. May contain some inappropriate material o.O;******  
  
Cioshi Start logging... Now.  
  
fangirlsa Okay..  
  
fangirlsa Hmmm..  
  
fangirlsa First question..  
  
fangirlsa Why do you like anime?  
  
* Cioshi nibbles on an angle food cake slice, crumbs flying from her mouth with each word, muffled," Fwell, I flike anifme because it's fery unique."  
  
Cioshi Some of the plots.  
  
Cioshi They're absolutely insane.  
  
fangirlsa Like Excel Saga?  
  
Cioshi It's takes a lot of mind power to come up with some of these things. Excel Saga I found more unsanely funny. But other's, like Spriggan, have just these weird, mind twisting plots that makes it hard to think.  
  
Cioshi With Spriggan.  
  
Cioshi I had to take three aspirins to get over that headache.  
  
fangirlsa Should i ask what Spriggan is?  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi YOU'RE STUPID!  
  
Cioshi GOD!  
  
fangirlsa I realise that.  
  
Cioshi WATCH THE PREVEIWS ON ANIME DVD'S FOR GOD'S SAKE!  
  
fangirlsa o-o;; O...kay. Next question, then.   
  
fangirlsa What do you think is the best example of anime ever made?  
  
Cioshi Hard.  
  
Cioshi Well....  
  
Cioshi I haven't seen a ton, but what I have whitnessed...  
  
Cioshi Princess Mononoke and Trigun.  
  
Cioshi Those are two personal favorites.  
  
Cioshi The animation is great, the plot is fabulous. There is love, heart break, and best of all, violence and gore!  
  
fangirlsa Somehow I knew you were going to say Trigun XD Anyway...what do you think are the worst anime?  
  
Cioshi Oh...  
  
Cioshi My brain...  
  
Cioshi So many thoughts running through my mind!...  
  
Cioshi It...  
  
Cioshi BURNS!  
  
Cioshi Um.  
  
Cioshi Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
Cioshi Ehehehe.  
  
fangirlsa HEY! o.o;  
  
Cioshi Pokemon.  
  
Cioshi Was.  
  
Cioshi Horrid.  
  
fangirlsa Yeah. That's better .  
  
Cioshi I must admit, it's what got me into anime ( somewhat ), but.... It's SO OLD.  
  
Cioshi It's been going for, what, 7 years?  
  
fangirlsa So, Pokemon was your first anime?  
  
Cioshi That and, this one I hate, Plastic Little.  
  
Cioshi Shh.  
  
Cioshi No one needs to know that, Claire.  
  
Cioshi Plastic Little was crap.  
  
fangirlsa Righto.  
  
Cioshi The plot was so lame and uncreative.  
  
Cioshi And.  
  
Cioshi So much not needed nudity.  
  
fangirlsa o.O;  
  
fangirlsa ANYWAY.  
  
Cioshi I mean, they kept touching eachother's breasts.  
  
Cioshi And.  
  
fangirlsa ...  
  
Cioshi This guy got a nosebleed watching.  
  
Cioshi It was pitiful.  
  
fangirlsa Keep in mind this story's PG 13 o.O;  
  
Cioshi That movie made me want to cry. With pity.  
  
Cioshi I DON'T CARE.  
  
Cioshi I REALLY DON'T.  
  
fangirlsa o-o!  
  
fangirlsa Alright...do you read fanfiction?  
  
Cioshi Ooh! Oooh!  
  
Cioshi ALMOST EVERY ANIME FROM BLOCK BUSTER IS CRAP! Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi Cough.  
  
Cioshi I read some fanfiction.  
  
Cioshi I don't care for it too much, because I don't like how people portray some of the characters.  
  
Cioshi I'm very picky about what I like, so, my choices are fairly limited.  
  
fangirlsa Okay...uh, when reading fanfiction, what pairings do you like?  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
* Cioshi whispers," Don't make me say... Pleeease."  
  
fangirlsa Fine then o.o;  
  
Cioshi Okay, FINE.  
  
fangirlsa Uh..  
  
Cioshi I KNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW!  
  
Cioshi Legato and Vash.  
  
Cioshi And..  
  
Cioshi Wolfwood.  
  
Cioshi It can be a threesome, right?  
  
fangirlsa Ee, wolfwood.  
  
fangirlsa I guess.  
  
Cioshi PLEASE let it be a threesome.  
  
Cioshi They all love eachother.  
  
fangirlsa o.o...  
  
Cioshi Love eachother in so many ways!  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi Don't look at me like that...  
  
fangirlsa I think you've just fried the minds of half the fangirls.  
  
Cioshi Shut up.  
  
fangirlsa Right.  
  
Cioshi I'm going to hack off your braids at school.  
  
Cioshi What do you have to say about THAT?  
  
Cioshi NOTHING!  
  
Cioshi HA!  
  
Cioshi NOOOOTHING!  
  
fangirlsa O.O! Crap...um...  
  
Cioshi The scissors are in my hand.  
  
Cioshi Waiting to slice your fles-- I mean hair.  
  
fangirlsa OHH YEAH. Do j00 have a particular fondness for any certain video games?  
  
fangirlsa ...  
  
Cioshi Final Fantasy 7.  
  
Cioshi That was my first RPG.  
  
Cioshi Ever.  
  
Cioshi It was wonderful.  
  
Cioshi Though, I soon learned to hate Aeris.  
  
Cioshi Because..  
  
fangirlsa Like that whole Aeris dying part, eh?  
  
Cioshi She wears pink.  
  
Cioshi YES!  
  
Cioshi I saved right before it.  
  
Cioshi So...  
  
Cioshi I watch it five times every day!  
  
Cioshi It's great.  
  
fangirlsa Lmao..  
  
Cioshi I have dreams about decapitating her.  
  
Cioshi And.  
  
Cioshi Cutting off her limbs.  
  
Cioshi And using them as Christmas Tree ordaments.  
  
fangirlsa I'm all out of questions...wanna interview me now?! o_o  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi No.  
  
fangirlsa TOO BAD.  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi I'm going to call you.  
  
fangirlsa Gah..  
  
fangirlsa o-o;  
  
Cioshi Is your MOMMY home?  
  
Cioshi HUH?! HUUUUH?!  
  
fangirlsa ..No...  
  
fangirlsa ..  
  
Cioshi Do you like to eat Trix in the morning? What do you think about the rabbit? Do you think that's it's animal cruelty?  
  
fangirlsa No, I hate him, and no. o.o;  
  
Cioshi Oh...  
  
Cioshi What about Captain Crunch? Don't you think he's attractive, or is that just me?  
  
fangirlsa Captain Crunch is one sexy mofo. Especially with them eyebrows that are detached from his face.  
  
Cioshi I know! Those are just SO sexy.  
  
Cioshi They make me CREAM myself.  
  
fangirlsa Totally.  
  
Cioshi What about Oreo-O's? That little fluffy Marshmellow mascot is soooooo turning me on.  
  
fangirlsa Um.  
  
fangirlsa No comment.  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi What do you think about the word moose?  
  
Cioshi Does it turn you on?  
  
Cioshi Because.  
  
Cioshi I'm very turned on right now.  
  
fangirlsa What kind of moose? Vanilla? Chocolate? ...Canadian?  
  
Cioshi Those Canadian ones.  
  
fangirlsa OOOH.  
  
Cioshi With their plaid shirts and axes.  
  
fangirlsa Yeah.  
  
Cioshi Do you think Jhonen Vasquez is hot? ( He's MINE bitches! )  
  
fangirlsa Hell yeah.  
  
fangirlsa I'm going to ddie for that, huh?  
  
Cioshi Yes, yes you will die.  
  
Cioshi Snip snip.  
  
fangirlsa o-o;  
  
Cioshi What is YOUR favorite anime? ( Examples - Sailor Moon, CardCaptors, Digimon... I know those are some of your favorites, just helping you think. )  
  
fangirlsa Uh...Yugioh?  
  
Cioshi That wasn't an option...  
  
Cioshi SNIP SNIP!  
  
fangirlsa O.O;;  
  
Cioshi SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi What is your favorite FEMALE couple? We all know you like Yuri....  
  
fangirlsa ...  
  
fangirlsa Uh.  
  
fangirlsa Isis and Mai? o.o..  
  
Cioshi If you say," Uh." again I will rip out your voice box.  
  
Cioshi Oh.  
  
Cioshi Sexy lesbians.  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi r u singel??/?/  
  
fangirlsa no mi buyfrindd luvs mi so muc  
  
Cioshi u r bf???/?/ wats his naem?/???? i guna git him!!11!1  
  
Cioshi i luv u tho!1!1!!!  
  
Cioshi b wit mi!11  
  
fangirlsa u cnat git hem his unvisble.  
  
Cioshi Okay. Enough of that.  
  
Cioshi I sitll love you, Claire. Cioshi ...  
  
fangirlsa o.o..  
  
Cioshi Still.  
  
Cioshi I'M LIVING YOU!!!!  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
Cioshi GODDAMNIT!  
  
Cioshi THAT RUINED IT ALL!  
  
Cioshi XD  
  
Cioshi If given that chance, would you tie Malik up to a pole and have sex with him until he dies and then you could go an rape another bishie?  
  
fangirlsa ...  
  
fangirlsa ...  
  
Cioshi You know you want to...  
  
fangirlsa YEAH! HELL YEAH! ER! You didn't hear that.  
  
fangirlsa He'd prolly stab me, though.  
  
* Cioshi hands Claire a Malik blowup doll.  
  
Cioshi Thank God.  
  
* fangirlsa makes loooove to it?  
  
Cioshi I'll bring him alive just to do that job for me.  
  
Cioshi Um...  
  
Cioshi Would you yiff me? Please?  
  
fangirlsa YEAH!  
  
* fangirlsa yiffs.  
  
Cioshi ( By the way. Yiffing is Cyber Sex on Furcadia for all you non-Furcadians. =X )  
  
* Cioshi moans.  
  
Cioshi u r so hawt!!!  
  
fangirlsa omg sew r u!  
  
Cioshi I want to go to the Help Desk now and ask stupid questions...  
  
fangirlsa no!  
  
Cioshi WHY NOT?  
  
Cioshi Okay.  
  
fangirlsa because I need more questions.  
  
Cioshi Are you in love with Kyle?  
  
fangirlsa .................  
  
Cioshi fangirlsa YES! YES! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!  
  
fangirlsa O.O!  
  
fangirlsa Dude!  
  
Cioshi ME!  
  
fangirlsa Maybe. o.o;  
  
Cioshi ...  
  
fangirlsa I think Joey loves him more though. o.o  
  
Cioshi Give me an answer worth reading, Claire.  
  
Cioshi Oh.  
  
Cioshi That's good. XD  
  
Cioshi A punker and a nerd.  
  
Cioshi It was ment to be.  
  
Cioshi Cioshi Okay.  
  
Cioshi Interveiw over.  
  
Cioshi Go to Hell now.  
  
fangirlsa ....I wasn't really thinking about THAT Joey.  
  
Cioshi There is so many...  
  
fangirlsa The Jounouchi Joey.  
  
Cioshi ..  
  
Cioshi Nooo.  
  
fangirlsa I want his sneakers.  
  
Cioshi He needs to be with m-- I mean... Er... The President!  
  
fangirlsa I also want yuugi's sneakers. Er, boots.  
  
Cioshi Let's go now. This got boring.  
  
fangirlsa Danm..  
  
Cioshi One last word?  
  
Cioshi What about two?  
  
fangirlsa Okay.  
  
Cioshi Fuck off.  
  
* Cioshi has quit IRC (QUIT: User exited)  
  
**********End IRC chat.**************  
  
Joey: Dude, you want my sneakers? Why the hell do you want my sneakers? o.O;  
  
Yami: And my aibou's boots?  
  
The Author: Uh, they're pretty? =D  
  
Joey, Yami & Yugi: o_O;  
  
The Author: No. Really. They are. o.O; They probably don't smell that pretty, though.  
  
Cioshi: Ugh...Malik, do me a favour? Introduce her to the pointy end of the Millenium Rod, please?  
  
The Author: He can't ^-^  
  
*Malik can be seen in the backround, trying to yank the cap off*  
  
Cioshi: ...why not?  
  
The Author: I glued it shut.  
  
Malik: WHAAAT?!  
  
The Author: I..uh...ACK!  
  
*Malik, again, can be seen in the backround, this time chasing The Author*  
  
Cioshi: Bai bai, people.. *turns to the chase in the backround* WOO! GO MALIK! *shoves popcorn in her mouth* Yeah, that's it! Stab! Stab!  
  
*end* 


	5. Chapter 5: The Fangirls Cometh

Fangirls Anonymous - Chapter Five - The Fangirls Cometh  
  
IMPORTANT NOTE: Not all fangirls who signed up will be in this chapter. I can't put everyone in one chapter...that would be waaay too much. If you signed up and you aren't in this chapter or the next, you'll be in chapter seven, don't worry.  
  
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: In the middle of this chapter, I'm doing an experimental change. Instead of following The Author, Cioshi, and Kyle, the story will follow a fangirl (one picked from my head, not one who signed up..gomen ne. =/), somewhat like the Official Fanfiction University of Middle Earth and its spinoffs. I NEED YOU GUYS TO TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. o_o;  
  
The Author: Sixteen reviews! Woo..  
  
Cioshi: That's not that much, really.  
  
The Author: Shut up and let me wallow in my glory. _  
  
Cioshi: Mkay.  
  
The Author: Oh yes, and worry not, yeldarb (that's Bradley backwards! I'm so smart! x3)..a plot will surface in good time. *coughchaptersevencough* XD  
  
Special extra feature! O.o; Excerpt form an AIM chat with Cio (raengreiviel= The Author, helloimcyriss= Cio):  
  
raengreiviel: YAMI MALIK WILL..  
  
raengreiviel: UH.  
  
helloimcyriss: No he won't.  
  
raengreiviel: DO THAT THING.  
  
raengreiviel: WITH.  
  
raengreiviel: THE SENNEN ROD.  
  
raengreiviel: ...EW!  
  
helloimcyriss: xDDD!!!  
  
raengreiviel: WAIT!  
  
raengreiviel: THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG!  
  
Yes, we are stupid. Yes, we are perverted. And if you can think of anything else...we're that too.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
"BISH-OU-NEN! BISH-OU-NEN!"  
  
"Oh my Marik, oh my Marik..." The Author rocked back and forth in the fetal position, her eyes wide.  
  
"...mind explaining why you're replacing 'god' with my yami's name?" Malik asked, blinking.  
  
"Marikism. Oh my Marik...oh my Marik..."  
  
"Uh..right." He walked over to Cioshi. "Why is she replacing 'god' with my yami's name?"  
  
"Marikism." Cioshi replied, unusually calm.  
  
Malik rolled his eyes.  
  
"Shouldn't you be cowering in ph34r about now, Malik? Everyone else is."  
  
He glanced around. Sure enough, all of the bishounen were either cowering in ph34- er, fear or sharpening/loading/whatevering their weapons. The Author was still rocking back and forth, but now she was gnawing on the CD case to her Power of Chaos trial. Kyle, whom had cleansed himself free of all grape soda, was, as on the day the bishounen arrived, twiddling with the stick on nametags. Cioshi was looking out the window at the fangirls, boredom very apparent on her face.  
  
"OMFG." The Author screeched as the massive crowd of fangirls pounded on the door.  
  
"...ohmfug?"  
  
"Shut up, Malik."  
  
"Will do."  
  
"Cio?" The Author asked in a sugary-sweet voice.  
  
"No."  
  
"Pleeeease?"  
  
"NO."  
  
"PLEEEASE?"  
  
"NO!" Malik looked back and forth between the two, shrugged, then walked off.  
  
"PLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEE?!"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
The Author was silent for a moment, staring at Cioshi, but then she smiled and went: "Grr."  
  
Cioshi burst into a fit of laughter, though in reality it wasn't *that* funny. "Oh, fine."  
  
She then proceeded to walk out the door and start yelling at several rabid fangirls.  
  
Meanwhile, The Author had other plans.  
  
She waited till Cioshi was outside, then turned (still sitting on the floor, if you forgot) to face the bishounen, smiling widely and..."innocently". The bishounen cowering in ph34r cowered more, while the others eeked. Her smile got wider...and wider...and wider...  
  
...and then she glomped Kuwabara, for reasons unknown.  
  
"I LUFF J00!"  
  
...oh.  
  
She then glomped Gohan.  
  
"I LUFF J00 TOO!"  
  
And Miroku was glomped...and Wolfwood was glomped...and Tasuki was glomped...and Xellos was glomped.  
  
And then she smiled even wider, and spun towards the Yu-Gi-Oh! bishounen. Malik seemed very, very afraid, but...  
  
...she glomped Otogi [1], her red-on-black "DICE!" belt sliding down magically through her belt loops to be viewed by everyone.  
  
"I LOOOOOOOOOOO- ...LUFF! J00000000000000000000000!"  
  
Malik looked offended, to say the least, as he stared at The Author.  
  
"How could she like him better than me? What has he got..WAIT! ...why do I care?!" [2] He seemed puzzled, then shrieked, pointing at The Author Stick (which conveniently, through the unbridled ph4/\/g1rl magic of FA, appeared on the ground next to The Author and the phr34k3d [3] out Otogi). "YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DAMN YOU!"  
  
He ran, crying in a...manly way, out of the room, never to be seen again. In this chapter, at least.  
  
***  
  
Kyle was in busty fangirl heaven.  
  
Then again, if someone had hung out with The Author and Cioshi for a year, anyone would seem busty.  
  
Anyway.  
  
"Name?" He asked the brown haired, brown eyed girl in front of him.  
  
"Snoopy."  
  
"...like the comic strip?"  
  
"That's called 'Peanuts', dipwad." The Author, who was seated three feet away, said with a roll of her eyes. Kyle shot a nasty glare at her.  
  
"Dirty blonde." He huffed, writing 'Snoopy' on a nametag.  
  
"Crap brown. Name?" The Author retorted, then wrote the girl's name on a tag.  
  
Kyle hmpfed and handed the nametag to a rather confused Snoopy. "Room number seventeen. Wake up before 9AM so you can sit through a boring orientation thing."  
  
"Next!" He called. The next fangirl walked up to him. "Name?"  
  
She leaned over, resting her hands on the desk, a clump of dark brown, blonde, black and red-ish hair falling in front of her eyes, which were slooooooowly changing from light blue to dark blue. "Rose."  
  
"Heh!" Kyle turned red and grinned like an idiot. "Well..um..hey...Rose!"  
  
"Kyle, stop harrassing the poor fangirl. Room thirty-five, be up before nine tomorrow."  
  
Mumbling something about how he hated 'dirty blondes with bluey-grey-greeny eyes', Kyle wrote 'Rose' on the nametag and told her her room number.  
  
********************************  
  
Here be the experimental change.  
  
********************************  
  
"Mmm...Hiei..make Kurama take his shirt off too.." Muttered the black duvet cover in room 76.  
  
Oh.  
  
Wait.  
  
...there's a fangirl under there somewhere.  
  
There was a soft knock on the door.  
  
"...of course I'll bear your child, Miroku..." The duv- er, fangirl-under-the-duvet-cover snored.  
  
There was a louder knock.  
  
"...Hey, Veggy...that spandex must be really tight. Can I take it off for you?.."  
  
Whoever was knocking on the door winced. There was a pause, then they slammed their fist on the door.  
  
"Wuh?" A messy redhaired head poked out of the pile of bedstuff.  
  
"HELLOOOOO?!" Came an impatient, high pitched voice.  
  
The fangirl yawned and stumbled to the door, opening it. She was met with the gaze of a bright LCD screen. There, standing in her doorway, was a giant, man-sized yellow cell phone.  
  
"What. The. Hell." was the first thing out of the girl's mouth. She had a strange feeling the cellphone-thing was looking at her in contempt.  
  
"Yes, I do realise that I am, in fact, a giant, albiet extremely bright, cell phone. Now if you would please follow me, you're late for the F.A.F.O.-"  
  
"Fafo?"  
  
The cell phone slapped a digital hand to a digital forehead. "Fangirls Anonymous Fangirls' Orientation."  
  
"But..that's at nine."  
  
"It's nine forty five. They've been waiting for you. Miss The Author [4] and Miss Cioshi and the crapbrown haired boy kept calling your name over the loudspeaker."  
  
Her eyes widened and she rushed around, picking up clothes, then ran into the bathroom and emerged a second later with neat hair, clothes (obviously), and the regulation nametag. She followed the cellphone down the hall.  
  
And on the way down the stairs, the fangirl (who is nameless as of right now) poked the cellphone.  
  
"Umm...hey, cellphone thingie?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"...can I call my friend?"  
  
The cellphone sweatdropped, nearly tripping on the stairs.  
  
***  
  
"Die, love, die. Die die die die die die die die die die diiiiie die die die die..."  
  
"Oh Miss The AUUUUTHORR~" A loud, singsong voice filled the giant auditorium. The Author sighed in relief, silently thanking Marik.  
  
"Thank you, Celly. You may go now." The cell phone "nodded" and exited the room, leaving the fangirl to stand there awkwardly under the stares of about three hundred fangirls, The Author, Cioshi, and...not Kyle, because he was currently asleep, drooling on the podium. The Author cleared her throat. "Well...thank you for finally gracing us with your presence, Miss...er..oh...Tera. I'll let it slide this time...mainly because you saved us from the rest of Cioshi's poetry [5]. Take a seat."  
  
Tera did so, hurriedly.  
  
"Hi!" The bubbly, blue haired girl next to her said. "My name's Tsuki!"  
  
"Hi. Tera." She shook the girl's hand and attempted to start up a conversation, but she was hushed by The Author.  
  
"Okay. Thank you for coming to this orientation, even if we had to force you all." She smiled brightly. "MMkay. Blahblahblahblahblahblah, bishounen, blah blah, glomp, blah blah blaaah pork rinds, blah blah blah blah Fangirls Anonymous!"  
  
Apparently, she had expected applause, but was instead met with a "WE WAITED FORTY FIVE MINUTES TO LISTEN TO THAT?!".  
  
The Author, however, looked proud of her self.  
  
"Yes," She said, like a motivational speaker, "Yes. You. Did."  
  
***  
  
Woo...that took a long while to write. As promised, most (if not all) of the fangirls that applied will appear in the next chapter.  
  
...REVIEW. And don't forget to tell me if you like my new style of telling it..  
  
[1] I like him better now. XD  
  
[2] No, folks, this doesn't imply any future romance. Don't worry.  
  
[3] I really should stop breaking into 13375p34|. ...wh00ps.  
  
[4] THAT SOUNDS FUNNY. XD;;  
  
[5] I am going to be murdered for that, I swear.  
  
Ja ne,  
  
Houka-sama/The Author 


End file.
